2001-07-22 - 12:04 a.m.
what an all-over crazy day. right now i am stressing because i dont know if dave is alright and i feel terrible bc i told him that i was coming back, and then didnt, and now he doesnt have a ride, but he says he can get one, but i still feel so responsible and inconsiderate, and i wish i knew how he feels, and i wanted to go back, but all of the people there made me feel guilty and stay, but now i feel even more guilty because i have left my man with no one to rescue him, and i wish thta hed call me back and assure me that hes alright, but he hasnt, so maybe he isnt alright, maybe he is, this sucks!!!
whoa look at the time, its my birthday. i am now a legal adult, kickass. god i cant even concentrate or absorb this bc of this stress. it started out as such a normal boring day, and then it got really good, but then it turned into a catastrophe, and now its not even today.
i was bored today so i baked a coffee cake and cookies and dyed my hair. i was pleased with the baking, the hair im not so sure about. its not nearly as drastic as i had planned. i wanted red.... i got, um, blonde, kinda orange in certain lights in certain spots. anyway, the day picked up, obviously, when i picked up taka. we ate at target, because i am a genius, and target has the best food. then, we got to goof around in the hair dye sections, and the clothes sections, and, undoubtedly, the hat section. i tried on a grandma hat, and i liked it. im thinking about going back for it. ohh and taka got me this great gift! its a backpack, but its shaped like a blue penguin birdish thing. he got it at the thrift store, and i think that it is home-made. its so incredible. and its so obvious that it is for little kids. the straps are so short and the pocket is so small and it has velcro [i love velcro, by the way] to close the pocket. its like a dream.
ok so then the night got really good when we went on to the show. they really, seriously, honestly, make me more happy than any other event. i love esposito shows. point made, point taken. tonight was great too. the band played really well.
oh yeah but after they played, i stayed and talked to horsnell and he informed me that clay got busted yesterday. yes, and, clay turned 18 on the 19th, therefore, charged as an adult. only got busted for running a stop sign and posession of paraphernalia [phew, had to take a deep breath before typing that]. he had a dime on him, he was driving high with minors, and somehow, they ignored all of that stuff. he got taken to the station. yada yada yada. it just really pisses me off so badly. why the hell does he get himself into this shit? thats what i want to know. i called him on his bday too, and his spirits were busted. got kicked out of summer school for fuckin absences. jesus christ. he was happy to hear from me though, so it was worth calling him. i guess anything i can do to help his state is valid.
ok im getting even more stressed out sitting here. god i hate this. i fucked up, damnit.
thats all. take care.
